Sometimes the worst life experiences teach us the best life lessons. But more importantly, healing from challenging experiences ignites personal transformation within us that propels our lives forward for the better.
Last Thursday, after five and half hours of flying I finally landed at SFO. I was excited to be back in the Bay to fellowship with friends and finally tend to a few outdated errands that I had put off since moving to NYC last year to work remotely. I was happy to be back in the city that brought me closer to myself, my passion, and my purpose.
As my Uber made its way towards the South Bay, my excitement slowly dissolved into a deep sense of numbness as memories of me facing adversity while living here began to resurface. Two years ago I moved across the country to pursue a career in collegiate athletics. My dreams of starting a well-balanced and fulfilling life in California did not manifest. But I gained something greater. Though I had moved on physically and retreated to NYC late last year, I had not fully processed the impact such adversity had on on my mental state. This meant I had some work to do. Some healing to do specifically.
Sometimes in life, we experience emotional triggers that remind us that there is still more healing to do. And this is PERFECTLY normal. The act of healing from our past trauma is a lifelong commitment of undoing and finding ways to turn adversity into opportunities for growth. Healing is not linear; it has its peaks and its valleys. With that, I am sharing a mini tool kit that includes three ways healing helped me restore self-belief, self-confidence, and self-compassion after facing adversity.
Reflecting on a difficult experience:
Have you ever had a job that you disliked? And constantly thought to yourself-- “I will not be doing THIS again.” Life is filled with experiences of learning what you want to do by experiencing what you don’t want to do.” Taking the time to reflect on difficult experiences can bring us closer to understanding our needs. It also allows us to practice grace and forgiveness by accepting that we did what we needed to do given our circumstances.
Finding and releasing emotions:
Adversity can cause trauma to fester and ultimately cause our emotions to go unaddressed. But can you blame us? Most times we are focused on navigating the discomfort of difficult experiences and moving on as quickly as possible. However, I’m learning that finding and releasing my emotions is a form of resilience. Sometimes we need to name the impact of an emotional experience in order to fully move on.
Finding opportunities for personal growth :
In life, we have to grow through what we go through. Experience is life’s best teacher. The lessons we learn from navigating adversity can boost our self-esteem and confidence. Some questions to help with assessing your personal growth are: Have my values shifted? Do my goals need to be redefined? Where do I need more support? Who would we like to build a community with?
Get in loser. We are HEALING.
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