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When Devi Brown said, “I’m not available for anything that is not mutually beneficial.” -- I felt it in my soul (Clip linked here).It may be where I am in life at the moment but I do not desire to be in spaces nor relationships that lack the reciprocity and support I need in my life.
Sometimes we reduce the importance of being in relationships that are mutually beneficial. Romantic, professional, and familial relationships, alike. Because of this, we can neglect our peace of mind in order to maintain personal obligations, preserve relationship histories and sustain order. As quiet as it is kept, everything in life is an exchange of energy including our relationships. We must ensure that we are not pouring into others from an empty cup.
As Fat Joe so eloquently puts it, “Yesterday's price is not today’s price.” And because of our ever evolving needs and desires we have the freedom to regularly assess whether a person, place or thing is mutually beneficial. This week, I’m sharing two simple steps to help you cultivate mutually supportive relationships.
Step 1: It starts with you.
Before you can begin to hold other people accountable for how they show up in your life you must first assess the value you bring to the spaces and relationships you occupy. Developing a level of emotional awareness that promotes objectivity when necessary is also important in maintaining mutually beneficial relationships. Consider asking yourself the following questions:
- What value do I add to the relationships and spaces I occupy?
- Am I supporting others the way they seek to be supported?
- Am I maintaining said relationships out of obligation?
- How open am I to receiving and implementing the feedback I receive?
Now that you are clear on the value you add to your relationships, it is time to assess whether the people in your life are reciprocating that energy. A person’s value-add does not have to be tangible. It can be an intangible exchange like emotional support or advice. However, you want to ensure that when you engage in these relationships you aren't feeling depleted. Consider asking yourself the following questions:
- How do I feel when I engage with this person?
- What value does this relationship add to my life?
- Have I been transparent about the type of support I need?
- Do I honor or openly share my needs in relationships?
If we seek to create a life where the people around us understand the value of reciprocity and boundaries, we must get into the habit of assessing whether the relationships we hold are mutually beneficial.
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